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Wednesday 16 November 2011

It's been a while...

So my post every day thing only lasted 5 days, oops... think I was overly optimistic there! So, catch up time:

I'm now 17, had an amazing birthday with a really random collection of gifts. No party yet though, that's coming in a December and you'll hear more about it in due course.

Now on to the stress and the reason I haven't been around:
I'm a leading student at my school, and for our house drama competition I had to script, cast, design and direct a 15 minute version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Sounds fun right... think again. The small children are a nightmare, with Willy Wonka dropping out two days before the performance. They still all need to learn their lines and they can't learn the difference between stage right and stage left.
Now you're probably wondering how long we have to fix all this. Well, the performance is tomorrow night... Let's just hope it's all alright on the night!

Thursday 20 October 2011

Food for thought

Just spent the last six hours of my life doing a huge biology study write - up, so instead of my usual post, i'll just leave you with a quick message for tonight :)

For those of you that view all teenagers as the same, grow up. We have feelings and different levels of emotions, we're really just mini - adults, so treat us like it.
For those of you that view gays as sick and wrong people, open your eyes. They have dreams, fear and aspirations just the same as everyone else, only it's all made ten times more difficult for them as a huge proportion of the world is against them.

For everyone who's ever been prejudiced or discriminated against someone without knowing the full story just remember, there's normally more to it that people want to reveal, and if you look into your own past i'm sure there's times you've been hurt for no real reason.
Don't do that to others, it's just not fair.

Wednesday 19 October 2011

Disillusions of childhood

When you're a kid, you always have this mental list of weird things you wanna do. Simple things that aren't difficult or expensive, they just seem like they might be fun.
Well, I don't know about you but me and my friends always wanted to feint.
I know it sounds stupid, but we thought it would be fun and just wanted to know what it felt like really. There's a reason these lists should never get completed, it's just depressing when the events don't work out how you expect.

Yes, I fainted for the first time today. I have this tremor that's gradually getting worse, we don't know what it is yet, but recently it's been making me lightheaded. Today that went to a whole new level, I was sitting there, head in my hands shaking, next thing I knew three minutes had gone by and I was collapsed on my side.
Trust me, it's not fun. It left me feeling sick and lightheaded for the next half hour. Worse, I was home alone. Gonna try and get some sleep and rest it off, got an appointment for a brain scan in about a months time but there's nothing I can do till then.

They say every day's a battle in secondary school, and by god am I going to prove them right!

Tuesday 18 October 2011

Being in love with your gay best friend

Love. It's already considered one of the most complicated and difficult emotions to handle right. Now imagine being a girl who's fallen for her male, gay best friend! Plus i'm the only person who knows he's gay, so all our friends just think he's rejecting me or something.

He trusted me, and I can't betray that trust. Therefore he must never know how I really feel. I help him accept himself, encourage him to come out to people, help him cope with his emotions and feelings towards our other male friend. He confides in me about his jealousy and deepest emotions, and he believes I trust him just as much.

What he doesn't know is that my deepest feelings are still hidden from him. Every time I help him through his jealousy, it's like it's transferring over to me instead. Every time I manage to calm him down and help him accept his situation, I feel my own heart break just a little bit more.

It's a vicious cycle of emotions, but my love for him means I'll do anything to keep him secure in his bubble of innocence and contentment. I'll stay strong for you <3

The ones you think will always be there

The one thing in life you can always rely on is your friends, right? Or maybe not...

I started hanging out with my current group of friends almost a year ago now, they were quite a close knit, small group - 2 girls, 2 guys. I got introduced by one of the guys and from then on it's all gone quite smoothly. Yeah, we've had our little tiffs and arguments, but all in all I've settled in quite well. If anything you could even say I've become the main girl in the group, me and the guys happily hang out without the other two, but we're still a group on the whole.

You see I'd forgotten one of the simple rule of teenage life - Girls are bitches.

They've been hinting for a while that they feel left out, but today their jealousy of my friendship with the guys reached a whole new level. Hints that they just pity me and are too polite to get rid of me were thrown around, as well as side remarks of how i'm still the newbie and have no real power in the group. It's become clear to me that they view me as a threat, but weirdly, that intrigues me!

This could go on for a while yet, but for the gossip I've heard it looks as though the girls could be fighting a losing battle, so let's see how it goes.

New Blog

Hiya, this is my first ever blog, so please be nice.

I'm planning on updating this every day (as much as possible) to write about my life. There will probably be a lot of background to some of the stories I post, but i'll do my best to fill you in as I go along.

Hope this is interesting, and if no one follows then I can just turn it into an online diary :P